Friday, August 20, 2010

Marriage counseling

With all of the problems going on with relationships in this country, it is refreshing to see that least marriage counseling is becoming more popular. It wasn't all that long ago that marriage and family counseling was frowned upon. Going to a marriage counselor meant that you just could not handle problems yourself. If you were a woman, it meant that you were neurotic. If you were a man, it meant that you weren't sufficiently authoritative. Thankfully, those days are gone, and marriage counselors are completely accepted in the mainstream in this day and age. After all, good marriage therapy has saved many a relationship.

A lot of people think that marriage counseling is only for people who are at the end of their rope. I thought this for a long time. I love my wife, and never thought about getting a divorce, but I just wasn't exactly happy with the way our marriage was going either. We had certain fights over and over again, and it seemed like we weren't as happy as when we first got together. Some people told me that this was normal, but I refuse to believe it. I thought that marriage counseling might help and, despite the snickers of my friends, went and gave it a try.

My wife was more than willing to try it out with me. She is always very cooperative, and we have always seen our marriage as more of a partnership than anything else. When we went into the marriage counseling together, we both did it knowing that we wanted our marriage to prosper like it used to. It wasn't anything like I had thought. Neither of us lay down on the couch, and the marriage counselor took a very informal tone with us. It was kind of comfortable, and even relaxing. There were tough moments in the marriage counseling, of course. We both had to face up to some very difficult realities. Nonetheless, overall it was a good time. We were getting along better and better, and it was clear that the therapy was working.

Marriage counseling doesn't work overnight, but it does work. In my case, it took a good eight months before we were really working as a team again. It might seem like a lot of time, but compare that to a lifetime. Eight months of marriage counseling is worth another 30 years of marital bliss if you ask me. It is simple mathematics more than anything else.

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